Even more than usual, the past few weeks have been challenging. The steady drum of anxiety, cries and screams of frustration, and regression in eating, all rapidly beat together in a tortuous tune.
And we don't know how to help him. I think that is what wears me down the most.
It is evident that our family is not unique. As I scour the internet for answers, countless Facebook groups, blogs, support websites pop-up with questions similar to mine. The special needs world is very real and heavily populated. But no one has the answers I need - the answers my son needs. The replies to the questions all appear to be trial-and-error and shoot-in-the-dark type responses. There are no clear answers.
I feel strength drain from my body.
"Wise" platitudes cast aside, I beg God for strength to get through the day. I need a clear answer. Lord, where can I find strength?
Joy in Me.
I am reminded of a verse Aaron shared with me weeks ago:
"...do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10
Once again my perspective is refocused. Shifting my gaze from my own tired self, I lift up my eyes and seek God. In the Word I am not given trial-and-error or shoot-in-the-dark tips. There I am always given clear answers. I am always given hope.
"...His gdelight is in the law1 of the Lord, and on His hlaw he meditates day and night. He is like ia tree planted by jstreams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its kleaf does not wither." Psalm 1:2-3
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13
Are you curious?
Click on the titles of the following articles for guidance/wisdom on where to find joy and strength!
Where Does Joy Come From? by John Piper
The Joy of the Lord, the Strength of His People by Charles H. Spurgeon